Welp, it’s that annual sappy post about New Year’s! Except I’m a week late. 😛
While this post coincides with my 21st birthday, I often double up stuff like this all the time. So I guess it’s not completely out of occasion.
To begin, I guess nothing feels out of the ordinary. Just like how I feel about birthdays, it was just another day. Although we did promote four officers for the new year: Valynda, Dolgon, Allibi (finally!), and Viestra. So that’s a new beginning! I feel that we haven’t promoted many officers over the year – partly because I sort of feel alone in leading the guild.
In terms of real life though, I think the biggest resolution is to expand my interest in motion graphics. I want to learn more, create more. It’s not something that I’m like strikingly good at, but it obviously takes a lot of practice. Just like the amount of effort I put into DDO, sigh, lol.
But for the game, I want to continue the work I’ve been doing. Reaching out to people, expanding the channel, expanding the guild, and focusing on hosting more events, raids, meetings, and more. As much as I want to keep it up though, I feel that it’s going to be strenuous. I don’t know if that’s good for me as it clashes with my real life resolution.
Keep in mind these aren’t real resolutions – in fact, I have a vague idea as to what I want to better myself in, but I never solidified these wishes. I think that’s what I’m doing now.
Well, in any case, I’m always sensitive to the feeling of starting anew, or ending something. Today (or rather yesterday, my schedule is so messed up) was my birthday, and I was so astonished by how many people showered me with warm wishes. I didn’t even tell anyone, but by word of mouth by those who remembered, the entire day I had friends wishing me a happy birthday. It was great, and kind of a first in a long time! Because I’m so apathetic to birthdays, these pleasant surprises remind me of the ultimate blessing I have: loved ones around me. While my day was just a normal day, somehow it felt more special by these simple things. Perhaps not having such expectations is part of that though. 🙂
2018 and 2019 I foresee a lot less DDO. That’s when I’ll be the most busy with coursework. But I’ll probably somehow find a loophole around that, I almost always do! I’ve probably said Happy New Year over a thousand times at my job and to friends, and I hope mine will be at least unchanging. But that’s kind of a bad thing to wish for when New Year’s is all about change, lol.
In any case, I hope the guild feels that they are under good hands. I hope my friends strive for better things in life. And I dearly hope I can grow in every aspect, from real life to DDO. I’m 21, but I’m still a baby really!
I think above all, I want to make more artworks and stick with it. Even if it doesn’t further my particular career, it’s something I’ve finally been able to grasp onto, so I don’t want to let go.
When my guildie linked a horoscope to my birthday, I thought it was interesting and fun to read. Was quite funny in how accurate it was, despite horoscopes generally not matching up. But I guess this year there was some common ground.
Today, I was in a particularly good mood because it felt like I was free. I didn’t feel obligated to help, even though I still couldn’t help myself. Sometimes I wish my birthday was every day in that sense! But, that would be selfish wouldn’t it?
I felt like I mattered, that I was important because I’ve tried to not think about myself in a greater light than anyone else. I don’t really have a focus on the need to feel important because it’s something that just simply didn’t have it’s place in it for me, but I can see why some emphasize it sometimes. While part of me prefers solitude, the other part is the outgoing side of me that cherishes people and just wants to be liked, loved. I saw so many people who normally don’t play anymore log in, and while some were coincidence, I think that was one of the greatest gifts.
Everyone will have a special place in my heart, and while that will be hard trying to fit each and everyone… you have made it all the more worthwhile to always keep trying no matter what.
A tired Sera writing, once again, at 7AM after a long gaming session.